My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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