She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
