its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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