i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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