my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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