i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
