Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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