wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
