I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
