Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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