ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
