i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
