God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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