One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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