Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard