Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love

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  (540): she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/im7c
  Replies (9) Good night (1601) Bad night (626)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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  (610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. http://tfl.nu/f91d
  Replies (55) Good night (7410) Bad night (1342)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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  (561): I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone. http://tfl.nu/li7n
  Replies (10) Good night (2428) Bad night (640)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (886) Bad night (11632)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.

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  (443): dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice. http://tfl.nu/lkbh
  Replies (5) Good night (2121) Bad night (1112)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1246) Bad night (2710)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

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  (443): I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much http://tfl.nu/p5rg
  Replies (10) Good night (1365) Bad night (2385)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1774) Bad night (1165)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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  (907): Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hpd0
  Replies (36) Good night (2828) Bad night (946)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?

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  (250): Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude? http://tfl.nu/r6rp
  Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (586)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?

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  (814): We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest? http://tfl.nu/lgnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (553)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.

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  (941): Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked. http://tfl.nu/l2tu
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (754)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.

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  (717): went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won. http://tfl.nu/zieh
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (288)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?

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  (516): Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles? http://tfl.nu/3kx7
  Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (656)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.

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  (617): He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right. http://tfl.nu/hr7z
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (201)

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