she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together