She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"