think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says