glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my liver is dry heaving
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
