oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there was a trapeze. enough said
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
foreskin is a definite game changer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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