I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
