i already hear my dad disowning me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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