just come out here and I will go home with you...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
