no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
