My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
