i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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