my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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