no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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