I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
