Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
