I'd wear matching sweaters with you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
