At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
