You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
there is glitter all over my balls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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