I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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