I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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