How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize