Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize