Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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