i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
