I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
