chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
