Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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