Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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