Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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