This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
