I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
