shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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