so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your shirt... Was in my pants
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
