I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?