i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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