Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.