Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
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I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.