You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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