I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
not ubering you a puppy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
