We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
