it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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