Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
