me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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