I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize