the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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