In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
