I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
